P. and I had a huge fight last night (Friday). My mom called him at work and told him what I said to her on Thursday. Okay, maybe I could have been a little nicer and not used so many “bad words”. That was one thing we agreed on – no swearing in our family. I accused him of taking her side and called him a few names. Maybe I said one or two bad words in the process. While I was screaming at him, he calmly yanked me over his knees and was about to spank me. I told him that if he put one hand on me I would call the police. The look on his face still hurts. He just stood and, without another word, left. I haven’t stopped crying yet. I know it was my fault. I just want him to come home.

P. and I practice Domestic Discipline. In a word, he spanks me when I am disobedient or get out of line. You probably are wondering “How did I get into this?” and “Am I some messed up person?”

As long as I can remember I always enjoyed being the Damsel in Distress when playing with other kids. Somehow this always led into being tied up. I think the turning point was when I was fourteen. My parents took me to this gigantic outdoor flea market. I’m a big time bookworm. This one booth was selling books by the box. And they were big boxes. I bought one that seemed to be filled with mostly fantasy stories (I love Dragonlance). Buried in the box as if by fate was an old copy of Pauline Reage’s Story of O. It had a few pages missing but I got the message. I read and reread that book and still have it in my box of mementos. My life with P. is not quite as intense as O’s.

Several websites that I have checked out imply the Bible condones the husband spanking a wife. I grew up as a Baptist, and P. is a Baptist. I personally don’t think it does. I think there are certain areas that a wife should allow her husband to be the head of and some things that wives are better at. I just don’t think the Bible says that every marriage should be like ours.

My friend S. (who is the only one who knows about our relationship) asked if I was P.’s sex slave. What we have is something more than just about sex. It is about trust. S. didn’t believe me when I told her we never had sex until our wedding night.

So far P. has only spanked me twice since our wedding. Once for not typing in my receipts into Quickbooks (a nightly ritual) and once for backing my car into a tree in the yard because I was trying to send a text message to S. I think the tree had more damage than my car.

Enough about this. Those boxes are still sitting upstairs…

E.